This Hatred is Running Deep in My Veins.

I try hard to not think about it but it always come back. I just hate everything. At least during this time period I hate everything and one. It’s more than a bad mood. It’s everything. Everything pisses me off. I notice little things and I can't shake off the feeling. Other people seem capable of not letting the daily annoyances get to them. But for some reason I can't. Even the people I thought I liked annoy me. I'm in a constant state of PMS. Have I not noticed these things before? Or is it just right now? I'm not sure, but all I do know is that solitude is the only solution. Some people fear being alone. They can't stand their own thoughts and have to always be with someone else. I've come to enjoy it though. Yeah, being around people you like is always a plus but sometimes being alone also pays off. I have this issue with trusting people too much and then it gets smashed. I do it every year. Over time I'm learning to not trust people so quickly because people are bastards. You never really know someone. There are hidden parts of everyone that are never revealed. The most difficult part of this time is the lack of trust. I lost a lot of important people in my life and it’s hard to deal with it alone. It’s hard to step forward when you feel confused as to where everyone else went. Then it has me thinking if it was all fake. The relationships and friendships, conversations and love were all fucking fake. Once again, I don't know. The thoughts of this phony life I lived for so many years make me sick to my stomach. Time was wasted and completely lost somewhere in the past. That’s what makes me the angriest. This will go away though. This non stop hate. I’m just being extra angsty in my final years as a teen.